SERIOUSLY?

So this is what makes a good mother. I hate to come off all judge-y (yes, that is a word in my book) but really people, going out to smoke a cigarette and chat with friends while your 7 month old infant is playing in a bathtub with water in it is not a tragic mistake - it's complete selfishness. Is a cigarette or friends more important than life that has your blood flowing through it?

Don't get me wrong. I have no idea of the trials and hardships a single mother goes through daily. I can understand being overwhelmed and forgetful. (really, I can - I am a champ at it). But couldn't, say, playing with toys in a bathtub and making your child laugh and letting that laughter ease a little bit of the burden of your troubled soul be a bit more helpful than forgetting things by smoking a cigarette at the same time the bath-time fun is going on?

I can't imagine the devastation of the loss of a child. But if things are so rough that you can't remember something like "stay in the bathroom when my infant is in the tub of water" then you probably shouldn't have the responsibility to be caring for a child.

Guilt kind of swallows me as I write this, thinking that something like this could happen if God ever grants my husband and I a child. And it could - I am far from perfect. But if that would be the case, I would be thinking that I shouldn't have the responsibility of having a child either.