don't get me wrong - i love mother's day. i love celebrating my mom, my grandma - i love celebrating all the wonderful things that women who have born children, who have raised and loved and cared for and nurtured children in to men and women have done, and are doing.
i didn't know that it would be a new day to point out how weird it is considered by society to not want to procreate.
in church, at the end of the service, they (as i am sure many "they"'s as churches did) called up all the moms, grandmas, aunts, and other mom-like women in the church to the front. Over half of the church stood and walked to the front (keep in mind, the sanctuary fills up at 2,000 people). so there i was, sitting with a whole bunch of guys, and wondering if people were having any thoughts looking at me, like "why isn't she up there?" or "aw, poor thing can't have children" or "are they even married?" while checking out my ring finger. i know i was thinking "well, something must really not be "normal" in me because i don't have a desire to have children, we don't have a desire to have children...why don't we have that desire when it seems to normal and natural to have it?"
meanwhile, my face was probably turning the various shades of red and or purple that it turns when i fear that people are thinking poorly of me.
yesterday was weird, weather-wise. the rain in spring i can fathom...but there was also this chill in the air, and leaves and flowers blown to the ground by the wind...both felt distinctively like fall, and i felt a need to hybernate.
there is a huge boulder that has been lifted from our shoulders and replaced by relief at the close of this semester. it was a lot at once, a lot that we weren't ready for but trudged through anyway.
now for all those thank you notes that i have been meaning to write and had not gotten around to between adjusting to a doubling in family size and an additional full time job added to the mix, and all the in's and out's that come with that. maybe even some more time with friends will help fill up this summer...that would be nice...