i've been away for a bit.
i always feel the need to apologize for that. but i will refrain, this time. for that.
i got a job at a bank, which i am thankful for. retail is not my thing-- i don't like it, never have, and i don't think i ever will. i don't think life at a bank will be all that exciting, but it's a much better paycheck than the one i get from current retail death. (chokes and falls to the floor dramatically after looking at retail pay check). as soon as i officially finish my degree on december 14 i want to get certified to be a substitute teacher. and then i want to work with hell raising city children in this burough the world calls youngstown for a few months.
finish my degree? ah, yes, folks. i am here to admit what a ridiculous fool i am. i do not yet have the piece of paper that says $80,000 plus was spent on furthering my education and changing and growing me as a person because of a cultural class and a gym class. oh yes, that's right, a gym class. so, i am finishing these two at youngstown state university. the upside of that- a different worldview, and the opportunity to take a self-defense class. i am having a wonderful time in both classes- cultural anthropology, *currently reading "the spirit catches you and you fall down" by anne fadiman--- which is a wonderful, wonderful ethnography, highly recommended; and self defense. i've made a few new friends in y-town, mainly theater people. i tried out for the fall mainstage production ("the miser" by moliere) and was smacked down and humbled to not be cast because of scheduling conflicts. although, to my credit- i did meet with the director/theater professor in the summer and ask when rehearsals were held, he never gave me a straight answer, and i scheduled my classes at what i believed to be appropriate times. i was wrong. to pet my bruised ego, my friend tony (cast as the miser, harpagon) informed me that the director thought i had a fantastic audition, wanted very much to cast me, but couldn't because of scheduling conflicts. i would have loved to do moliere, so i am a little sad about it still (as i don't know of many/any theater prospects in the youngstown area and i would have to pre-birth sell my first born to afford gas to travel to pitt or cleveland for rehearsals).
well, i can't seem to write short posts. and no one wants to read anything this long. except maybe me.
i had another wonderful southside experience in pittsburgh last week. (wahoo for chocolate).
unfortunately, the following day, my car died. let me now reflect in a moment of silence.
okay. done with that. so now i am looking to find a car, or to buy my sister's car off of her, because she is getting a brand spankin' new 06 honda with her real job and salary that comes with that job. [another whining tangent- i want a real job where i can use more than one of my gifts and talents that i discovered and started to refine or at least learn how to begin refining in college].
i want to have a bonfire/cookout before the weather reminds us (or most of us) why and how much we really don't like this part of the country for the majority of the year.
i liked being a mime. i could be really direct and i didn't have to say a word. so the verbal and non-verbal communication didn't get mixed up. they seem to a lot with me.
aren't we all misunderstood?
how do you say goodbye without saying anything anymore? is it just "understood"? i've lost what i thought was a friendship but the friendship was never really there to begin with if i'm losing it like i am now.