i feel like crap. dung. a cow pattie. keep coming up with names so you can sound more and more witty kristy....

not physically though. more, my heart. ah yes, kids. still the heartbreak. it's part of that whole waiting thing....which really is more and more spectacular, now that i've been given more time to think about it. or, should i say...i've actually used the opportunity of time i have been given to think a bit more.

i keep telling myself, to just...be still. be obedient and just be still, and just listen. quietly. and there's all that crap about yoga clearing your mind and whatnot...how much clearer can our minds get when society fills them with nothing to start? don't get me wrong, yoga and tae chi are very relaxing....but the clearing the mind part...how are we really challenged to think from day to day? it's only by those whom i know love me that truly challenge me to THINK about life, about who i am, about what is *really* important...about figuring out what is really important.

i don't know. i just don't. so i guess that's it.