Monday, May 17, 2004

so it's been a little while. it might be an even littler while still. that's okay.

so i'm "home" for the summer. and by quoting, i mean that i do not want to be here. i have to take a summer PE class to officially get my diploma, so i am taking it at YSU and having it transfer to malone. i need to find a summer job, but there's absolutely nothing around i just might end up working in a factory or as a waitress for the summer.

i won't find out about saltworks (see until late june. so i can't commit to anything past august because i will possibly/hopefully be moving to pittsburgh. so that kind of puts a strain on things. because i want to do a job that i am at least somewhat *qualified* for (whatever that means) but i can't commit past august so that leaves me in an akward position.

it's been a long, draining week. i've been searching for jobs in the area and in the pittsburgh area, because even if i don't get cast in saltworks, i think i want to move there for at least a year. my uncle passed away...he was killed in a car accident. everyone keeps saying "i'm sorry" but it's okay. it's just...i don't handle funerals or funeral homes well at all. let it be recorded right now that if i should pass, and you are still alive and have read this...that i want my passing to be a celebration of life. and i don't want funeral flowers. and if andrew rudd is still around, i want him to speak. and ann lawson too. that may change in ten years, but i doubt there are better speakers who have shown such love and compassion and grace in my life that will know me from here on doesn't seem that i will be apart of a community like i have been the past four years again, but who knows?

i am finally unpacking all of my "stuff" and packing more of it and throwing things away and boxing things for whenever i move.

my gym class- a dance class- starts tomorrow. and i still need to find a job. in the mean time, i will organize my room, cook dinner for my mom, and play with my puppy. that's gotta be better than staring at a computer screen for any longer. the job search yesterday might have intoxicated my brain with funny computer screen colors...nothing like the *real world*

1 comment:

Redbaerd said...

woohoo! comments!

so fun to *hear* your voice --

and -- I must admit -- i'm *very* moved by your kind words. very generous of you since the whole enterprise of living / working / learning community is rewarding for everyone.

just wanted to say hey! with you weren't in such a liminal moment ... but, am, of course, convinced that astonishing good comes from such times and places...unfortunately not til much later.

you saw a preacher boy?!?!