Sunday, May 23, 2004

So on to beginnings and ends.
Now on to random typings.

Okay, perhaps not so random because I seem to not be as "good" at that as other bloggers who are all cute about it. *cough cough gag* haha...just kidding. right.

So, yesterday I picked up my graduation and last few weeks of college pictures from Wal-Mart. They made me feel whimsical. Now, I didn't always know whimsical could be a feeling, but I promise you now, I know it is.

After, I drove up to a Northeast Cleveland area and visited the Steele family, particularly, their youngest, Brian. Not after hanging up on him and being particulary retched...this whole being at home thing lends to some extreme moods. Or a lacking leash on my tongue because these *phrases* and words come out of my mouth in such a biting way that I wish I could catch them and put them all back in but words don't work that way. Life doesn't. Oh I am not getting phylosophical yet.

So, I arrive at the Steele household and greet Brian who is *still* getting ready. Which, for now, I still find pretty cute (and it will hopefully for the most part remain that way). He takes longer than I do to get ready- and I am generally not a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. Finally, the wax is set in his hair and I believe he's ready. Lo and behold, his father and mother want to take us out to dinner...and when I say "us" I mean over half the immediate family. Mom and Dad Steele, Brian, me, Eric and his girlfriend, Julie and Jamie and Hunter and Alex. Ten total. And this is normal for them (they go out to eat a lot)...which is cool...I'm up for whatever, whenever. We went to this fairly neat seafood place--which my mom actually knew about and loves too so yeah! Maybe her and I could go up there sometime. And dinner was fun and enjoyable.

After, we went back to Brians and thought about going to see a movie, but it was kind of late. So, we didn't. We decided to wait for Jason to get home and go get ice cream with him. In the meantime, I got Brian to agree to go on a walk. We went out in his back yard, and decided to stumble our way down to the beach (Lake Erie is literally in his back yard). It was interesting. I had a skirt on, so life was even funnier. And I swear that Brian could be Tarzan because he just hops from place to place without a problem at all. The fact that I have no balance does not help the situation. So we slide down the muddy path to the beach and Brian starts eyeing the drift wood and kicking it back in to the water. He stops for a moment and I stand in front of him, and we both just look out at the water. And it was kind of grey and misty out, and I couldn't tell where the water stopped and the sky began. I felt so small and so big at the same time. I knew I was where I was supposed to be at that moment. And I enjoyed it to it's fullest. Brian went back to playing with drift wood and other random objects that wash up, and I decided to sit on the rocks, that if this beach were to be a stage and the Lake it's audience, were stage left. So Brian sat with me and we were just quietly watching everything for a while...he asked me about theater...about what I liked, what my favorites are. And I was reminded that he cares- about what matters to me- because he cares about me. Even if I can't tell all the time...because I *need* these words of encouragement from people I trust and because he doesn't express that way. He is one special guy. Anyhow, before I get in to some mushy story...our feet were both covered in mudd and sand and so were our sandals. But we made it back up (which was even more interesting than the trip down) and I washed my feet off and we left to get Jason and Lisa and went for ice cream.

Before I left my house, as an after thought, I threw some cloths and my toothbrush in a bag, in case I ended up staying. I did-- there was a flood warning and thunder storm watch again-- and I had watched the weather earlier and didn't think that it was supposed to be so crappy yet again. Oh well. I woke up at 730 this morning and drove back. I was in time for church, but I was starting to fall asleep at the wheel, so I decided against going and slept instead. I am a heathen. Oh well...grace would mean nothing if I deserved it...and it would mean nothing if I abused it. So I admit to my fallenness. Now I am meandering around the house getting things done for my parents and playing with my dog. A relaxing day. I wish I could get up tomorrow still and see most of my friends. Until then, I'll enjoy a few good movies and continue on a good book....listening to the quiet wonder of the breath of life.

No comments: