Thursday, July 22, 2004

if you know me, you know i get frustrated with my dad. really, really frustrated sometimes.

but when we sit down to pray before we eat, my dad bows his head, and his prayer seems a sigh, a struggle to thank God, even through the things in life he hates. especially on his "bad days". granted, my father still continues to anger me, say things i think are ignorant, not think before he talks, yells before he pauses, hurts me, frustrates me, angers me, makes me just...sad.

and i got to thinking...a simple lesson but one that i still don't (and probably never will) fully understand. we are that same way with God. we say ignorant things, we don't think before we do, we serve ourselves before we serve him. well, let me just start by dropping the "we" right now. why did i bring you in to this? i need to own up to it myself. and i figure, i hurt God, i break his heart, i fail him every day. many many many times a day. and yet, he still loves me. no, He doesn't want me to hurt him. But even when i do, he still loves me.

and realizing that makes another part of this heart of stone and flesh that i have melt and break and reminds me to hand it over to Him, yet again.

1 comment:

ThreeGraces said...

Very insightful post, my dear O. I wish I knew you years ago so I could say, "My, look how mature she's become." But, alas, I have only known you as such.